Let’s face it, in today’s modern world revenge gets a bad reputation. Its commonly associated with immaturity and terms like “anger management” and “childish”. But is it necessary that we all be expected to surprise our urge for vengeance under all circumstances?
To the German 19th Century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, it’s really not that simple.
According to Nietzsche there are two entirely different types of revenge that are brought about by two distinct motives. Nietzsche points out, “reflection on the other person's vulnerability and capacity for suffering is its presupposition; one wants to hurt. Protecting oneself against further harm, on the other hand, is so little a consideration for the seeker of such vengeance..”. The first form of revenge is instinctual, it’s a biological response to danger. You can view this as your fight or flight response to a threat that is rooted in fear. The goal here is to avoid future suffering by asserting aggression and power. This type of revenge carries with it no ill intent, and really takes no thinking to carry out at all. The second type of revenge is far more purposeful. It’s an act of calculated aggression rather than a defense mechanism. In contrast to the first type of revenge, this revenge is all about proving one’s lack of fear for another. Most often when we speak of revenge we are talking about the calculated form.
So why do we feel a need to pursue this secondary type of revenge, and why does our culture look down on it? The answer is honor! Humans feel the need to protect and restore their honor when they perceive themselves to have been ‘dishonored’. Such a need can be viewed as egotistical but is ultimately often feel unavoidable. Nietzsche comments on this second type of revenge, “…he avenged himself for his honor's sake-after all, this motive is nobler than the other one.” To Nietzsche, maintaining one’s honor is a noble cause, but one that is not always necessary.
Let’s dig into which circumstances have the power to dishonor you to understand when revenge is necessary. So when was the last time a tree dishonored you? My guess it never. The reason for this is because a tree is not capable of fearing you, it has no ego to compare to your own. For this reason, not everyone can experience feelings of revenge for another. A certain amount of respect and acknowledgment of another’s human ego is a prerequisite for revenge. When we seek vengeance, it’s because we do not feel feared by someone else. In a sense revenge is the manifestation of feeling underestimated. Nietzsche uses the example of settling a dispute in a court room or via a duel on the streets. One could simply allow the law to carry out their revenge if in indeed a law was broken by the offender. Surprisingly, many have chosen to opt out of this passive and guaranteed form of vengeance. They instead to choose to put themselves in harm’s way and even risk their life for the sake of restoring their honor. The reason for this is because one’s honor cannot be restored if the fear that they invoke is not for them but for the law. To restore your honor, it must be you that is feared rather than a third party who is acting on your behalf. Revenge is a deeply personal thirst that can only be quenched personally carried out retribution.
Perhaps what you can take away from all this is that only a ‘vulnerable honor’ can be motivated to seek revenge, but a secure sense of honor cannot be tempted. Look at those who dishonor you like you would look at a tree. They cannot damage your honor because they have no honor themselves!