URBAN DICTIONARY Protocol 11/15 Bouvier

The sub-man:

The sub-man is a child who enjoys a childish mental state. A sub-man, or more accurately, a sub-boy is a youngster who has not been forced to face the realities of life yet. The burden of freedom has not yet crossed their mind. The sub-man lives a simple life consumed by the values of their society and family. Decisions do not phase them because decisions do not carry any weight yet; nothing has been decided. This phase of life is to be enjoyed since the anxieties of freedom and subjectivity will force the sub-man to recreate themselves soon.

Synonyms: innocent, unsuspecting, naive, at peace, codependent

“I had to sit him down and tell him straight up, you’re not a child anymore. You need figure out who you are and what you stand for. You have been avoiding the burden of personal responsibility for far too long. We all wish we could still be children but at a certain point the gravity of your own existence forces you to grow up.”

The serious man:

The serious man is a blind follower of the values assigned to him by society. He’s a sheep who chooses not to think for himself. His belief system is not created by using his subjectivity, but by a pre-created set of values he identifies with. This man is unable to think for himself, and perhaps even scared to do so. His inherent freedom causes him anxiety. One might even say this man is a child in the sense that he is not aware of his own freedom. Sadly, serious men come in large numbers and you may be one yourself .

Synonyms: sheep, blind man, a man child

“I swear that guy can’t think for himself, it’s like his parents and friends feed him every single value he thinks he has. I could never count on him to decide on doing the right thing unless someone else told him to first. He is a total robot to society.”

The demoniacal man:

A critic of all, a believer of none. This type of person is a true skeptic of their own belief system and yet continues to subscribe to it because they cling to the certainty of external ethical constructs. This kind of person would probably kick your dog just to revolt against the idea that kicking a dog is wrong.

Synonyms: a dick, a hypocrite, spineless, a poor debater

“Mindy constantly shits on everyone else’s choices; she’s always going on about how I just do what I think I’m supposed to do instead of revolting against societal norms like her. Don’t tell her but to be honest she just believes in nothing if not for the very values that she makes fun of. God, I hate her.”

The Nihilist:

The nihilist is truly the most depressing presence you will ever have the pleasure of interacting with. This person condemns themselves and everyone around them as worthless. They live in fear of their own freedom, overcome with self-denial. Sadly, this denial of one’s own freedom and worth necessarily means the denial of every other human’s worth as well. Afterall, our subjectivity is intertwined with the existence of others. This is the kind of person who wants to bring everyone else down with them. Think Nazis.

Synonyms: a buzzkill, a coward, an absolute bummer to anyone with ambition

“He’s the kind of guy who would have rather popped the safety rafts of the titanic than die alone. It’s strange because he is certainly selfish but also completely disengaged with his own future at the same time. What terrible vibes I get from him. Lol he tried to follow my finsta, but I obviously never accepted.”

The adventurer:

A free spirit who enjoys experiences of all types. They believe that their freedom does not require them to act with purpose or intent, but that freedom of action on its own is enough. The adventurer is ultimately a hypocrite who is not self-aware enough to understand the unconscious motives of their adventures. This character likely chases the feeling of possession and longs for control over their environment. An adventurer does not need to be convinced to act since they don’t deceive themselves into believing that the motive is important.

Synonyms: reckless, two faced, spontaneous, excitable, an air head

“James is fun to hang out with, but I just feel like I can’t really connect with him. At first glance he seems so free spirited and fun but once I got to know him it just seemed like he didn’t care about much. He sure looks like a cool guy on his Instagram though. He’s been everywhere!”

The passionate man:

This person really lives in their own world. They are admirable because they exercise their freedom well by creating meaning in life through passion. That said, they also suffer from tunnel vision syndrome where they are not able to relate to others effectively unless the object of their passion is involved. A passionate man has perhaps taken their freedom to far, to the point where they have separated themselves from others. The passionate man lacks curiosity because their mind is already full.

Synonyms: predictable, single-dimensional, driven, isolated, a ‘mansplainer’ if they get the chance

“I’m sick of Sarah always changing the conversation topic back to her damn dogs. I swear I’ve heard the story about her dog doing a handstand at least a million times. She just doesn’t quiet, she likes dog this, animal shelter that literally all the time. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks about anything else. I have to hand it to her though, she’s at least passionate about something”.